As we look forward to Abraham Lincoln’s Birthday, Chinese New Year, Valentine’s Day and then President’s Day, I hope you were able to dive into last weeks post where I shared 7 of my favorite resources to keep kiddos busy, learn while having fun and be creative!
This week I felt compelled to share a few of the tools I have in my tool chest to help me protect my marriage. As a working mom of three kids, I often feel tired and exhausted, where I don’t always have the energy to love on my husband. Overall, I think my husband and I do a good job staying connected. We put in the work, we fight, we apologize and we continue to move forward like most couples. But what does it actually mean to protect your marriage?
I learned after a previous failed marriage (gasp), how important it is to truly focus my energy on my husband and our marriage. I started out as a young wife thinking I could be a strong, independent, corporate working woman that traveled all over the world for her job and was busy all the time. While all of this is possible, doable, empowering, and OK, I forgot one key element; I still needed to pour into my marriage for it to not only survive but thrive. I needed to protect it and my husband needed to do the same. So, what have I learned and then subsequently changed?
Here are 5 of my favorite marriage tools:
- Words of affirmation. A few times a week, I will send my husband a simple little text saying something sweet, even just a classic “I love you” is good. This was one of my New Years Resolutions to do more of. He’s a typical manly man but at least he knows I am thinking of him between my work meetings and endless projects. I also strive to thank him for some of the things he does to help our household run more smoothly.
- Invest time. In my younger day’s life was about my friends, what they were doing, where they were going. As you get older these priorities shift. We love to spend time with other couples, but I make it my main priority to spend my extra time when I am not working, when I am not running kids around town to connect with my husband. How do we do this? We may cook dinner together, watch a movie after the kids go to bed (a set bedtime is key), relax in the hot tub and DATE NIGHTS are so important where you can hold hands and have uninterrupted adult conversations.
- Physical connection. A hug. A kiss. I love hugging my husband in the middle of cooking dinner. It’s a tiny stolen moment amid chaos, but it connects us. Reach outside your comfort zone and find ways to touch and stay physically connected.
- This may sound archaic or even prudish but stay with me…Close yourself off from temptation. Be serious about purity. Take an honest look at what you’re letting in (what you are watching, listening to, reading, or sharing in conversation, how are the morals of the people in your circle). Additionally, think about what energy you are putting out, do you practice discretion with your clothing choices? While I have a variety of male friends and colleagues, I am more conscious of the role I play to ensure I don’t put myself where temptation might rear its ugly head. Over the years my group of friends has shifted to those who share the same values as my family. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart” and continually ask the Lord to protect it.
- Do your homework. I read the book Wife After God: Drawing Closer to God & Your Husband. While some of the content might be common sense, I found it full of helpful tidbits that can help you learn a different perspective of your role.
Thanks for reading this far. Keep up the good fight, it's worth it. Remember, while some days we might not get it right, each day is an opportunity to start again and do better. Be humble and say sorry if need be. Hug it out. Light a candle from our new collection, they are amazing!
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